Out of Office

I'm contemplating what outlook message shall i put for my next week out-of-office reply since i will be abroad. So far this is what I've found online:

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail toget the position. Be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of theoffice. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send meuntil I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail willbe deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for thefirst ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and isunable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sendingagain.
'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how manyin-duh-viduals did this over and over).

Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system...You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply inapproximately 19 weeks.

I've run away to join a different circus.


I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons..When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Steve'.

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